A Day in the Life of a Medievalist, Midwinter, 1999.

* Get up at 6am after four hours sleep. Drag self to kitchen, put kettle on. Drag self to bathroom, shower while kettle boils. Drag self from bathroom to kettle. Make coffee. Coffee goooood.

* Do hair for the day. This requires an hour. >_< Get into medieval kit. This takes five minutes. Eat breakfast of champions (toast and vegemite, 2nd cup of coffee). Pack lunch. Sort through medieval hard kit to make sure I have everything. Armor - check. Weapons - check. Garb trunk - check. Feasting gear - check. Bottles of water - check.

* E and S arrive at 8am. We load up E's car. Car contains my kit, E's kit and S's kit. Car can barely fit us in as well. Driving is an issue with four spears and a banner pole lodged against the gear stick. Evan battles onward.

* Begin long ass drive to Spalding. Distance between Adelaide and Spalding: 340km. Amuse ourselves by singing along to Rocky Horror and South Park.

* Arrive Spalding in time for lunch. Pool money. Buy food. Have nice big picnic lunch consisting of hot chips, coke, juice, chocolate donuts, three baguettes, cheese and a cream bun. I fear the cleaning should the guys explode during combat.

* Find Spalding Area School. Set up for display. Do first part of display: Lifestyles. Wax eloquent to a large group of awed children and adults. S and E are my models as I talk about various aspects of life in the 12th century. Dress kids up in costumes.

* Take ten minute break, pack up lifestyle kits, set up warfare kits. Kids come back in.

* Do warfare display. Kids even more awed. Do our favourite part of display, picking on the troublemakers and harrassing them with weapons. Hahahahaha! Realise in hindsight that telling children how to kill someone with a sword is probably a bad move.

* Put kids in armor: chain maille, scale maille and lamelar. Kids complain at weight. We laugh.

* Send kids outside. Steve and Evan armor up. Go outside for combat display.

* Boys fight, first hurling insults at each other. We do mini tourney. As marshall, I have to introduce them. "Lord Uther the Black, ladies and gentlemen and Lord Beithir Cinaed na Sutherlarach." Kids cheer. S spouts off first insult "You are offensive to mine eyes, Beithir and my sword shall carve thee in twain." (Yes, he is my inspiration for Boromir for a reason. *snerk*)

* Kids cheer. S wins. E lies flat on back, panting. S calls him a "cowardly cur with less strength than a woman." Kids cheer louder. Adults laugh. I facepalm. E moans.

* Pack up kit. Load up car. Boys stay in breeches, hose and shirte's. Do not blame them. Get paid. Do the dance of joy. Start back towards Adelaide.

* Arrive Adelaide 6pm. Get dinner: McDonalds. Ignore funny looks from staff and customers. Ignore questions as to location of Robin Hood and his Merry Men.

* Go to ABC National Radio Station. Set up to do audio display. Very strange but interesting experience. Boys fight. I commentate. I answer questions about clothing, weapons, history, who we are, etc. Radio National very pleased with us.

* Leave ABC Radio. Head to my house. Unload car. Message on machine from bf of the time - he's gone out on the town. This pleases us. Load everything into large untidy pile in center of dining room. House looks like a medieval supply dump.

* E leaves. S and I get drunk. Watch TV. Have hysterics. Other friends come over. Drunkenly try on all my clothes. Most vexed that S looks better in my blue cocktail dress than I do.

* Bf comes back at 3am. Still awake. Still drinking. Watching "Highlander". Quoting dialogue along with movie. Very amused at ourselves. Bf very alarmed. S still wearing dress. AJ in belly dancers costume. Me in armour. Bf goes to bed and hides.

* Stay up til dawn when S passes out on floor, still wearing dress. Go to bed. Remove armor. Sleep like the dead.

Questions? Comments? Wanna stroke my ego? Then e-mail me.