Just for Cloudtrader. This will help with the 'research.'

Starkiller: Should I make this a LL post?
Sky: *rolls* Yes! I think it should be. Go ahead. Make Cloudie's day! I think you should go forth and share your teeny-bopper perversion!
Starkiller: *dies* Ok! Done.

I got into the Sex Pistols when I was 13-ish. I can't remember exactly if I was still 12 or not, but I know I was in second year high school at the time. I was also something of a loner and rather unpopular, due to many factors, including the religious background. Ah, bigotry, never dies. At any rate, one of the few friends I had then lent me a tape called "Never Mind the Bollocks." From that point on, I was hooked.

I went and scoured record shops for everything I could find by The Sex Pistols, Sid Vicious and whatever spin offs the former members had been in. (To this day I am STILL hunting for The Professionals album, now I have found it on Amazon, and hey - it's PRICEY, aargh!) I had PiL records, every bootleg Pistols and Sid Vicious record I could find, every legit Pistols record, even a shocking copy of the Cheifs of Relief single. I had posters, photos, t-shirts, you name it, I had it. Baring in mind my pocket money was a whopping $7 a fortnight, this is no mean feat. And before the internet too, so I relied quite heavily on NME and Melody Maker's ads from record traders who did mail order.

Anyway, I managed to get my 13 year old mits on a copy of the video of "The Great Rock and Roll Swindle." Up until this point, I'd been aware that there was a difference between girl-people and boy-people, but I hadn't really had any sort of serious physical crush on any of the boy-people, just vague warm fuzzies. You know how kids are - we were all kids once.

So I got this tape off a friend at school, and watched it. Because it was rated R (NC17), I had to have mum in the room. My eyes almost popped out of my head the first time I saw it. There was nudity! And LOTS of it! And MEN! We had Sid Vicious dancing around in combat boots and his underpants. We had Paul Cook and Steve Jones doing excercises on the beach completely naked. We had orgy footage from Brazil, again featuring Paul and Steve. We had Steve Jones holding the 10 Commandment tablets wearing naught but boots and a cloak, with his goods on full view.

Mum, of course, was quite shocked. But, she indulged me, bless her, and got me a copy of the tape. Probably b.c I kept my insane reaction to this to myself. The friend who had lent me the tape in the first place got into a LOT of trouble with her mother due to the nudity, and her mother rang mine to demand an explanation. Mine just sort of went, well, so what? Everyone's naked under their clothes. Mum was quite liberated back then.

Anyway, I saved up my meagre pocket money and bought an instant polaroid camera. You know the ones, you take the pic, and it gets spit out of the camera, you wait a few minutes, and lo! Photo!

So, I would routinely sneak home from church on Sundays, fast forward the tape to the relevant naked Sid and naked Steve sections, take photos madly, hide the photos and drool over them later at my leisure. Yes, even then I was a perve.

One Sunday, though, I was working my way through the 'excercise' scene. I saw dad walking up the path towards the front door, and panicked. He didn't know I'd snuck home to indulge my teenage fantasies of naked punk rockers with a camera. I turned the vid and tv off, and ran to the laundry. I buried the camera under a pile of dirty washing and hid myself behind the hot water service. There I hoped like hell he didn't need to come into the laundry, because then I would be utterly busted and in SO much trouble, not just for sneaking away from church, but for having a handful of pictures of naked Steve Jones.

Thankfully, he didn't come into the laundry. Whatever he'd come home to get for church was in the lounge room. I heard him leave, waited a few minutes, and with heart pounding, crept out of the laundry, grabbed my camera, hid it and the fruits of my labour in my bedroom, and went back to church, after ensuring that all evidence of my having been home when I was supposed to be learning how to be a good Mormon wife and mother and sing "Families Can Be Together Forever".

That was a very tense day in the life of the little Starkiller. I only really remembered this while talking with corellian_sugar. So the moral of this life lesson is that you can never tell when people become perves and really, whats wrong with that? :D

Questions? Comments? Wanna stroke my ego? Then e-mail me.