Oh yes, those rip snorting, hurrah-inducing science-fantasy fests are indeed the tips to living a spectacular life.

For example:

1. When confronting a vastly superior force armed with vastly superior weapons, bound on Mass Destruction, I will not go rushing about in the Face Of Great Danger weilding nothing but a sword. I will steal a dead enemy's weapon and use that instead.

2. When an old man purporting to be a wise dude tells me to climb a perilously high mountain to retrieve some Mystical Magic Artifact, I will not blithely climb said mountain without a fuck lot of climbing equipment.

3. Upon seeing said Mystical Magic Artifact burried in a lava flow, I will not plunge my unprotected hand into said flow. Instead I will make sure I have heavy duty protective arm gear first.

4. When rushing forth to defeat The Evil Monster, I will ensure that wardrobe will be flogged with a barbed cat o' nine tails should they see fit to attire me in snazzy stripey tights.

5. When old wise dude dies, I will not stop to bury him before rushing off to defeat The Evil Monster if there is a time limit. I will come back and do the job properly when I win.

6. When someone in my Merry Crew says they have no food, I will smack them. Of course we have food. It is called McDonalds.

7. When facing off The Evil Monster, knowing full well he has weapons vastly superior to my own, I shall ensure that should anything go amiss I have a handy bazooka nearby.

8. When rushing towards Great Danger, I will ensure that the comic relief is bound and gagged. The last thing a Hero needs to hear on the way to Certain Death is knock knock jokes.

9. When I have destroyed The Evil Monster's Fortress of Power, (b.c we all knew I would,) I will not stop to watch its destruction but run, run like the wind.

10. The next time some Old Wise Dude shows up and babbles about prophecy, I will have him chained and thrown in the dungeon and cheerfully get on with my life.

Questions? Comments? Wanna stroke my ego? Then e-mail me.